This was a really interesting and well-written piece. I love how it transitions from the cosmic horror of the unknowable to something more optimisitc and sublime with the surviving crew choosing to live on as part of the alien 'celestial body'. There are also some really wonderful turns of phrase here ("whispery rasps leak out of his throat in strange, staccato spurts" hooked me from the first chapter). The structure of alternating between the Captain's personal and more emotional logs and the more detached commentary from mission control was a clever touch. Not only did it help deepen the mystery, it also demonstrated how the same cataclysmic events can be understood radically differently by those experiencing them and the system that ultimately has to metabolise and comprehend their meaning. In places, it felt like an episode of Star Trek written by H.P. Lovecraft (which I mean as a compliment, of course), but by the end, it emerged as something totally and uniquely your own.
Thank you so much! I was a bit nervous, delving into a genre that so many have done so brilliantly before me, but I just ignored my doubts and forged ahead; having people respond positively to it makes me feel it was worth it.
I actually had an entire third interspersed section that was the Eradinus' AI computer logs revealing excerpts of the play-by-play retrieval mission and what happened, but since it didn't changed the narrative of our main characters, I ended up cutting it.
If you'd like to read it, I can message that version to you and you can scan for the Eradninus entries.
I’d definitely read that! It’s always funny when talking about axed parts. There used to be a whole extra character in Maryann that only my husband knows since he was my first reader. He still mourns that I cut that guy out of the whole thing 😆
No..NO!! Why? Get back here and make it longer. I need more. This can't be the end! I am deeply and emotionally invested in these characters now this cannot be how it's over just… I don't know do more or something you can't leave it like this!
I'm thrilled you were so invested in the characters, Hillary! I really wanted there to be a strong emotional element to balance out that inevitable "coldness of space" we all must face, eventually. I appreciate your reading and commenting! 🥰
This was a really interesting and well-written piece. I love how it transitions from the cosmic horror of the unknowable to something more optimisitc and sublime with the surviving crew choosing to live on as part of the alien 'celestial body'. There are also some really wonderful turns of phrase here ("whispery rasps leak out of his throat in strange, staccato spurts" hooked me from the first chapter). The structure of alternating between the Captain's personal and more emotional logs and the more detached commentary from mission control was a clever touch. Not only did it help deepen the mystery, it also demonstrated how the same cataclysmic events can be understood radically differently by those experiencing them and the system that ultimately has to metabolise and comprehend their meaning. In places, it felt like an episode of Star Trek written by H.P. Lovecraft (which I mean as a compliment, of course), but by the end, it emerged as something totally and uniquely your own.
Thank you so much! I was a bit nervous, delving into a genre that so many have done so brilliantly before me, but I just ignored my doubts and forged ahead; having people respond positively to it makes me feel it was worth it.
Well, I’m glad you put aside your doubts — it’s a wonderful piece of writing and Substack would be a little poorer if you’d chosen not to write it.
But what of the Eradinus? Did they end up opting for the same fate? Did they arrive too early and the Hermod wasn’t expelled yet? Curious!
Enjoyed this!
I actually had an entire third interspersed section that was the Eradinus' AI computer logs revealing excerpts of the play-by-play retrieval mission and what happened, but since it didn't changed the narrative of our main characters, I ended up cutting it.
If you'd like to read it, I can message that version to you and you can scan for the Eradninus entries.
I’d definitely read that! It’s always funny when talking about axed parts. There used to be a whole extra character in Maryann that only my husband knows since he was my first reader. He still mourns that I cut that guy out of the whole thing 😆
Ha! Okay. I'll send it via DM. Just give some time to do so. :)
No..NO!! Why? Get back here and make it longer. I need more. This can't be the end! I am deeply and emotionally invested in these characters now this cannot be how it's over just… I don't know do more or something you can't leave it like this!
I'm thrilled you were so invested in the characters, Hillary! I really wanted there to be a strong emotional element to balance out that inevitable "coldness of space" we all must face, eventually. I appreciate your reading and commenting! 🥰